ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
