A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
