better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
