i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
