I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize