Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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