Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
