PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think my moral compass just broke
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
