On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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