I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
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