I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
if only i could text you this smell
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
