you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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