Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
