he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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