This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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