I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
