so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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