This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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