whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
