Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
