FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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