I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
