guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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