People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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