I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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