Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
