Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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