Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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