FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
