either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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