How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Barsexuality is the new black.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
