you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
