Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't deserve a penis
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
