guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
