it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
