is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
operation have a gay friend backfired
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
