The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
