I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
They have beer where we have blood.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
