Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
