dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
