remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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