"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
