It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
