yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
