Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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