...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
