Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
