Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
