remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
