stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
