Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
